Hysterical bonding

Saving our marriage

The first few days after D-Day were incredibly tough – for my wife primarily but for me too. For her, the pain, the hurt, the betrayal. For me, the guilt, the realisation of how much damage I’d done.

That first weekend, my sister in law volunteered to take our kids so we had time to talk. We dropped them off at her house Saturday evening then drove back home. We had some dinner and then were talking. Nothing was really said – but soon we were undressing and making love. Afterwards, my wife admitted she had planned this. This was just 3 days after discovery. I was, to say the least, surprised.

The phenomenon of “hysterical bonding” is a well known one. But back then it was very surprising. Apparently, from the BS perspective, it can be explained by a few things :

– the need to “reclaim” the spouse

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