Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?

No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges

One day last summer, Anne and her husband, Miguel, took their 9-year-old son, Michael, to a Florida elementary school for the first day of what the family chose to call “summer camp.” For years, Anne and Miguel have struggled to understand their eldest son, an elegant boy with high-planed cheeks, wide eyes and curly light brown hair, whose periodic rages alternate with moments of chilly detachment. Michael’s eight-week program was, in reality, a highly structured psychological study — less summer camp than camp of last resort.

Michael’s problems started, according to his mother, around age 3, shortly after his brother Allan was born. At the time, she said, Michael was mostly just acting “like a brat,” but his behavior soon escalated to throwing tantrums during which he would scream and shriek inconsolably. These weren’t ordinary toddler’s fits. “It wasn’t, ‘I’m tired’ or ‘I’m frustrated’ — the normal things kids do,”…

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“Yeah, we’re having sex but we’re a couple, so…

Waiting Matters... Because YOU Matter

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… it’s okay. See, it’s not like I’m hooking up with someone different every weekend. We’ve been together like   (fill in the blank) . So, yeah, … it’s fine.”

A lot of people see hooking up or friends with benefits or casual sex—however you define those terms—as something entirely different, and definitely way worse, than having sex in a steady relationship.

“We’re together. We’re a couple. We’re in a committed relationship.”

That’s good. Awesome. Terrific.

Be together. Go steady or be exclusive (or whatever you want to call it). I’m all for nurturing a connection. Especially in today’s hook-up culture, you’ll find me cheering for intentional relationship building. Just leave sex out of it.

“Oh, come on….”

I’m dead serious. No wedding rings, no sex.

Okay, I’ll admit, I can kind of understand the we’re-a-couple-so-its-okay line of thinking.

You have an actual relationship. You’re getting to know each other. Making…

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The Serenity Prayer Helps Survivors Separate Ourselves From the Narcissistic Abuser

After Narcissistic Abuse

serenity

There have been many times in my life that the serenity prayer has helped me with emotions that I found difficult to process; times of grief and loss where I felt helpless and hurting. It wasn’t until the abusive relationship with a narcissist that I fully understood what the serenity prayer meant and how applicable it is to coping with and overcoming the abusive, narcissistic relationship. By clearly defining what the dividing lines are between what we can control and what we can’t, we know better what to focus on as we empower ourselves and move forward in life. 

Whether your beliefs are in the God I believe in, there is still the element of humility, in releasing our attempt to control a situation to someone who is greater than ourselves. I believe that in the act of reaching out to our higher power or source, we are humbly recognizing…

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6 Steps to Emotional Healing after Narcissistic Abuse (#1 is the most important!)

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

depression

Have you been been sitting around, asking yourself the following questions?

“Why does it take so long to heal from this heartache?”, “Why can’t I stop thinking about the person who treated me like crap?”, “Why do I still love him/her after what they did to me?”, “Will this pain ever go away?”

Obsessing over an emotionally abusive relationship is draining, and often so detrimental that many lose their jobs, homes, and even their children.  In severe cases, suicide is attempted and sometimes successfully carried out.

There are many elements involved in healing from Narcissistic abuse.  Just as with any loss, there will be periods of grieving, denial, anger, and depression.  However, unlike a typical break-up where you would eventually get to a point of acceptance, many victims of Narcissistic abuse stay fixated and obsess about their abuser, often suffering as long as ten years or more post-breakup.

Why does this happen…

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