4 Steps to Obtain Your Freedom From a Narcissist

After Narcissistic Abuse

Regardless of the relationship you have – obtaining your freedom is mostly about the way that you “relate” to the narcissist, so learning steps to break free from a narcissistic relationship applies for ANY affiliation.

images (87)By  the time you realize your need to ESCAPE, you are going to be IN THE RED ZONE emotionally. You will feel drained. Sick and tired and VERY tired of being sick and tired. You’ll be questioning yourself heavily; feeling as crazy as they tell you that you are. Your world will feel like a Dr. Seuss story where Up is Down and Down is Up.

It is this SHEER DESPERATION of your inner soul screaming, “GET ME OUT OF HERE!” That you finally muster up the risk to take a leap of faith that you can survive WHATEVER COMES NEXT.

How to Break Free From the Madness:

1. Make a firm decision to Sever…

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The Piety of Toxic Love

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

I was with my Ex for over eight years.

I am unable to recall a single Valentine’s Day spent with him.

I literally cannot summon up one miniscule facet of those eight holidays.

It seems they’ve been gridlocked from my memory.

And frankly, I don’t want or need to remember.

Some things are better left forgotten…

better left slouching in the cold, frozen night from whence those black moments were born.

Instead, I abscond gingerly to unsullied vistas where the earth is not deprived of its color.

Where my individuality is celebrated, no longer a conviction.

A place where I can breathe in green air

and the mornings offer their gracious possibilities.

In his unraveling of me, I discovered a gem of recognition.

Acknowledgement of the heavy truth

that I needed his blackness to discover my light.

© Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach, 2016

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Leaving the sociopath before the discard

Love. Life. OM. Blog


Choosing to leave the sociopath before the sociopath is ready to discard you may cause increased cognitive dissonance if you don’t know what to expect.

In the beginning, the sociopath exhausts you of all your novelty in the early love-bombing and idolization phase.

The sociopath is so interested in your interests and becomes so immersed in your life and daily routine that you become intoxicated by all of the attention.

You interpret this as a good thing. You interpret this as an AMAZING thing. The sociopath must love you so much to want to become your twin, huh?

The sociopath even seems to bond quickly and easily with your inner circle of friends and certain family members.

You’re in awe of how alike you are! Where has the sociopath been all of your life?

And that’s exactly the question you should be asking. Where HAS the sociopath been? Where are…

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Dear Kim – Why is My Narcissistic Ex so Mean to Me Now That He’s Found New Supply?

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed


They really are all the same, huh?

Meet the “Emotionally Immature, Socially-Challenged Narcissist”.  This is typically the Narcissist who never made anything of themselves and has spent their entire life living off of other people.

Narcissists are juvenile, compulsive, and never matured emotionally.  A particular part of their brain never developed the ability to relate to others as whole people.  In fact, to the Narcissist, all of their partners are one and the same.  The only exception is the new supply who is being love-bombed.

In regards to being treated badly once the Narcissist discards you (and after securing new supply), it’s important to look beyond surface facades and remember what you’re dealing with.  The Narcissist isn’t treating you badly because you deserve it in any way.  They are simply using you as an outlet for their juvenile tantrums because they cannot do that with the new supply.

Think of the…

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Revenge Or Karma?


So many people want ‘Revenge’ against the Sociopath. I wrote an article about that, you can read it HERE. The below was written by AlohaLover, who has traveled the path of healing for almost 2 years. When she first reached out to me, her life was a complete disaster. Mentally/emotionally and financially! I know she did not believe me when I would tell her “you will get out of this, I promise”….and she had her backslide moments, questioning herself. All the things a person does after being involved with a Sociopath. Please, reach out~ YOU have the choice now whether to continue to hold onto the ‘baggage’ or drop it off somewhere and focus on YOU!

I love this site. It, along with T has helped me heal. T always said “you’ll get there”and I never thought I would….never. I had very dark days and this site, Tela and…

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Hurt People Hurt People and The Seven Keys of Conscious Compassion

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

Some of them are hard to love.

They come into my classroom with a scowl upon their face and a dark shadow behind their eyes. They sit slumped and defiant or spend the entire period looking like they’re ready to fight.

Some of them are hard to love.

They respond to a positive word with a curse, cutting others down with their words even as others try to lift them up. They seek out the weak and bully them into bruised submission.

Some of them are hard to love.

They scrawl their writings on the walls and destroy the belongings of others, leaving a path of destruction in their wake.

Some of them are hard to love.

And those are the ones that need love the most.

Because hurt people hurt people.

And we can (and often must) respond punitively, creating consequences for actions and penalizing behaviors. Parents are called…

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Signs That You’ve Been Abused by a Narcissist

After Narcissistic Abuse



Do you recognize that you’re doubting yourself more than you ever have before?

Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something.

This reactive adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is ALWAYS finger pointing and shifting blame to YOU for ALL of the ups & downs both in the relationship AND in the narcissist’s personal psyche.
Because this relationship has NON EXISTENT boundaries, you will find YOURSELF constantly PUT UPON and FORCED to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do or say. This borrowed humiliation and shame is exactly what the narcissist intends for the victim to take from the narcissist. Their own unfelt core of shame.



Just refer to the above explanation of self doubt and boundary transgression if you want to understand the CONFUSION that is part and…

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